Big Not Sexy Lug
by Val-Creative
Summary: Conner had nice hands. Smooth and never callused like Tim's. Bet they'd feel good. /TimxKon-ish. A little bit of TimxTam. Major lulz. Exaggerated Tim denial. Standalone.


-X-

Tam is a nice girl and he has never experienced a thought of taking advantage of their relationship. Never ever _ever_.

But Tim senses something amiss with the dimmed lights in her apartment that night — the flickering strawberry-scented candles arranged in a half-circle on the glass end table, and the low, smooth volume of the Atlantic Five Jazz Band playing from the stereo system.

Not to mention the fact that Tam has just reappeared from her trip to the bathroom in a silk, blue nightie and one of those oversized robes that always felt softer than they appeared to be. Something still feels amiss even when her gorgeous, cocoa-skinned arms wrap eagerly around his neck — and _really_, any man would be lucky to be kissing Tam like Tim was now on her apartment loveseat.

Totally, because you know, she is gorgeous and a girl and everything — oh my _GOD_… the smell of the candles is starting to get overpowering and Tim's insides cringe slightly. Ew. It is almost as bad as this one time Conner had been dared during a team night to go a full week without showering and two days into it had a physical run-in with a super strong supervillain with _super stronger_ B-O…

Hm.

Tam's lotioned hands slide down his back, teasing each bump of his spine, before going for the edge of his shirt and Tim's heart speeds up a bit.

No, no, it's _cool_. They are just fooling around a little. A little kissing. A little handsy. Well, _she's_ handsy but he wouldn't let it get out of c-control…

"Is this okay, Tim?" she whispers, her warm lips grinning in the crook of his neck, and he forces a smile. Tam laughs at his weak attempt at a thumbs up signal before discarding his red polo. "Just checking." More kissing, very _wet_ kissing with the right touch of carelessness, and Tim is proud to say he is quite good by his particular standards.

Conner would say so. You know, if he and Tim had ever macked each other. Not that they had. That's just stupid. They were bros. Conner would probably get handsy too while they were together like this. Conner had nice hands. Smooth and never callused like Tim's. Bet they'd feel good around Tim's cock. In a bro way.

Mm.

Tim leans a little more towards Tam, feeling her hands over his and urging them to open her robe. Her nightie is very blue. Very, _very_ blue.

Kind of like… blueberries — _what_, seriously, he wasn't going to compare _everything_ to Conner. This isn't some deranged superhero BL manga. This is reality, okay…

Besides, this shade didn't match the captivating quality of Conner's ey… …—uhh, _dammit_.

Oh, wait, yeah. Handsy. Hands roaming.

"_Mmhn_—h-harder—" a moan leaves Tim's lips as he tilts his head back. Tim's lower lip puckers between his teeth. "Conner, _mmm_, down t-there—"

Tam's hands freeze in place over his crotch. The scratched portion of the CD in the stereo system angrily warps as it hits an inevitable stopping point.

-X-

Tim has a mission. One very important mission at Titans Tower.

No one is really aware that he's popping by for a visit. That suits him fine. There is really only _one_ person he is seeking out.

Conner doesn't at all surprised when he enters his bedroom to find Tim in full Red Robin costume and sitting broodingly on the edge of Conner's mattress — surprise visits slowly became less _surprising_ over the years. "What's going on, bro?" He is, however, surprised that Tim immediately comes over to him and begins _walloping_ closed fists at his chest like a toddler on a silent tantrum.

It doesn't stay silent for long.

"_You_—" Tim aims for the left pectoral. "interfere—" Now the right. "with—" Back to the left. "everything—" Solar plexus. "you big _not-sexy_ lug—!"

Conner blinks and then catches Tim's wrists before another round of chest punching can begin, asking smugly, "Did you imagine me with another girl?"

Tim is not pouting.

"…_aargh_… honest to— god, Conner… I hate you sometimes."

And Tim is definitely _not_ melting under the sweet, heated pressure of Conner's mouth.

"Keep telling yourself that, Timmy."

-X-

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><p><em>Repost from my Tumblr and LJ. Red Robin universe-centric with Pre-reboot. My original summary had the word 'cock' in it so I couldn't use it here so that's a darn shame. X-D Are you giggly, reader? YOU BETTER BE~.<em>


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